Nicole the good girl is now turning over to the bad side. Yes I am aware of it, I think I am practicing my independence in an overly-exagggerated manner.
I used to drink OCCASSIONALY, but now it seems like my blood alcohol level is already reaching the higher end. Smoking is another plus, i am getting the hang of it already and to tell you frankly, it is fun. Though there is still one thing i havent tried, and seems like it will take long before i try it, Sex. My new year's resolution for 09 is pretty simple, just 2 words actually : GET LAID!. haha Its not a must but its a must try. I mean, it has to happen in some point in my life, just dont know when though.
Last night, i was out with some girlfriends. Initial plan was to just chill and have coffee but after a few hours we decided to drink instead. We didnt drink that much, but the amount of booze that flowed into my system was just about enough to make my senses a bit (oh alright, extremely) low. I went home wasted. I threw up, almost fell off a flight of stairs and nearly hit my head in the wall. Haay.. It was a fun night but the morning after that was hell. My head felt like it was splitting apart and my whole world was like vertigo.
I think I have not completely gone bad, Im just starting to live my life.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Smoking 101
Last sunday night my senses was introduced to the pleasurable yet sinful act of smoking. Ever since the world began, smoking has been a taboo for the Fonacier children. For the very first time, i broke this rule without them knowing, my parents of course.
It all just came to me. Growing up and seeing people around me belch white puffy smoke out of their mouths and nostrils, i never really had a thing for their bad habit. My father smokes, as in he smokes bigtime. Same is true with my uncles and some cousins. Friends? definitely. No doubt, its everywhere. I used to hate it, and wouldnt even dare try it. My friends would usually offer a cigarette, but i just couldnt take. It went on until I reached college. The chain ended last sunday night.
My words were a surprise to everyone. It went, "turuan nyo nga ako manigarilyo" and they couldnt believe it at first. They gave me my first stick and i finally, i was about to start smoking. Inhale, hold and puff it out, simple instructions but for a beginner it was hard. I eventually started smoking after a few sticks, a few coughs and a few laughs.
Fun? uhm, not totally. Pleasurable? cant seem to understand why the love it. I told them that I would just finish a box which has about 20 sticks in it. I already consumed 3 and that means 17 more to go. No more after that, and you can mark my word for it.
It was never my intention to get addicted nor make it a vice. Curiosity drove me into this and well, it sure did teach me something. Perceptions about smoking may differ, and one can never generalize. For me, everyone should try it even ONCE in their lives. It wouldnt hurt if you just try it one time.
It all just came to me. Growing up and seeing people around me belch white puffy smoke out of their mouths and nostrils, i never really had a thing for their bad habit. My father smokes, as in he smokes bigtime. Same is true with my uncles and some cousins. Friends? definitely. No doubt, its everywhere. I used to hate it, and wouldnt even dare try it. My friends would usually offer a cigarette, but i just couldnt take. It went on until I reached college. The chain ended last sunday night.
My words were a surprise to everyone. It went, "turuan nyo nga ako manigarilyo" and they couldnt believe it at first. They gave me my first stick and i finally, i was about to start smoking. Inhale, hold and puff it out, simple instructions but for a beginner it was hard. I eventually started smoking after a few sticks, a few coughs and a few laughs.
Fun? uhm, not totally. Pleasurable? cant seem to understand why the love it. I told them that I would just finish a box which has about 20 sticks in it. I already consumed 3 and that means 17 more to go. No more after that, and you can mark my word for it.
It was never my intention to get addicted nor make it a vice. Curiosity drove me into this and well, it sure did teach me something. Perceptions about smoking may differ, and one can never generalize. For me, everyone should try it even ONCE in their lives. It wouldnt hurt if you just try it one time.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
hot
I know that its not just me, the weather is like a wild forest fire. As in scorching hot, my resort is to stay locked up in my room with my airconditioner at full blast, hah! The problem is, electricity aint cheap and while im here enjoying the comfort of cool air, my electric bill is piling up on its self as well.
I am a frustrated environmentalist, i do care about nature in some sense. I remember joining a speech contest way back last year, the theme was about the whole Global Warming craze. As I was busy coking up my piece, i ended up renting Al Gore's documentary about GW. The video in itself is alarming, and how the projected outcomes will be if people do not act. Blah!Blah!Blah! I got a lot of pointers from that video and it helped me alot not only in my piece but also with how i viewed the whole situation.
Before,I couldnt care less of how everything is, I dont really pay attention when it comes to Mother Earth and all that environmental bul$h*t. After my thought-changing experience, it all made a lot of sense. A professor told me that my speech was moving (but sadly i didnt win because it lacked some of the elements) and the delivery was remarkable. The prize was no longer an issue that time, the more important thing was if my listeners understood what i said, and i think they did.
My call was to TAKE NOTICE, observe, lok and see how are world is fast changing because one day we might be all surprised to see how different it is just because we failed to take notice.
The first step, TAKE NOTICE. When you have accomplished this, you yourself can figure out what the NEXT step will be.
I am a frustrated environmentalist, i do care about nature in some sense. I remember joining a speech contest way back last year, the theme was about the whole Global Warming craze. As I was busy coking up my piece, i ended up renting Al Gore's documentary about GW. The video in itself is alarming, and how the projected outcomes will be if people do not act. Blah!Blah!Blah! I got a lot of pointers from that video and it helped me alot not only in my piece but also with how i viewed the whole situation.
Before,I couldnt care less of how everything is, I dont really pay attention when it comes to Mother Earth and all that environmental bul$h*t. After my thought-changing experience, it all made a lot of sense. A professor told me that my speech was moving (but sadly i didnt win because it lacked some of the elements) and the delivery was remarkable. The prize was no longer an issue that time, the more important thing was if my listeners understood what i said, and i think they did.
My call was to TAKE NOTICE, observe, lok and see how are world is fast changing because one day we might be all surprised to see how different it is just because we failed to take notice.
The first step, TAKE NOTICE. When you have accomplished this, you yourself can figure out what the NEXT step will be.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
cold valentines
Hearts day is fast approaching. Like every other year, I spend my the 14th alone, lonesome and lonely. Every year I would always say, "Next year will not be like this", but the whole scenario just repeats itself as this day comes.3 more days to go and i hoping for a change. I wish someone will break this chain of loneliness.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
missing him
I havent seen him for days, work and school matters. Haay!
I miss how he makes me smile even when im so down.
I miss how he would notice the simplest things.
I miss it when he puts my hand in his chest, just to feel his heart beating is for me and only me.
I miss how he explains every little circumstance in the world even if it doesnt call for it.
I miss his smile. I miss his expressive eyes.
I miss everything about him.
I miss how he makes me smile even when im so down.
I miss how he would notice the simplest things.
I miss it when he puts my hand in his chest, just to feel his heart beating is for me and only me.
I miss how he explains every little circumstance in the world even if it doesnt call for it.
I miss his smile. I miss his expressive eyes.
I miss everything about him.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Undecided
I am kinda caught between two streams, to stay or not to stay? that is the question. NLE exam is fast approaching, graduation just a few more sleeps away and i am scared to wake up one morning saying "hello world, what have you got for this bum today?".
When i was in High school, i didnt really pay that much attention to what i would be in the future probably because i was past and present-oriented, the hell with the future! (that was before though). As I live the last few days of my college life, i am now tormented by how the world will be after i walk out of my academe.
the options:
1. Migrate. Plans of moving to the US was always present in my life, i lived there before but didnt appreciate it much. Now, i am older and wiser, my view of the whole US thing changed. I am so excited to be there once again, but.. there has always been a down side to it.
2.Stay. Pinas will always be my home, and this is the one place i want to be in when i grow old. The option of working and staying here has its pros and cons, but economically speaking i think the cons outweigh the advantages.
3. Medicine. I have thought of it alot lately, I want to be a doctor. I dont care how people in my circle try to discourage me, i still want to pursue it. Problem with this is the finances and the time. It definitely cost a lot more than highschool and nursing combined, and its just not that practical. 4 years of nursing plus another 6 years of med school plus another 4 years of residency, how old will i be before i harbor the fruits of my labor.
4. Wait for my tide to come. The only option with no definite means nor end.
I am in a whirlpool of unorganized thoughts right now, but before i lead my self the real insanity, there is only one thing to do.. FOCUS on the present, the future can wait.
When i was in High school, i didnt really pay that much attention to what i would be in the future probably because i was past and present-oriented, the hell with the future! (that was before though). As I live the last few days of my college life, i am now tormented by how the world will be after i walk out of my academe.
the options:
1. Migrate. Plans of moving to the US was always present in my life, i lived there before but didnt appreciate it much. Now, i am older and wiser, my view of the whole US thing changed. I am so excited to be there once again, but.. there has always been a down side to it.
2.Stay. Pinas will always be my home, and this is the one place i want to be in when i grow old. The option of working and staying here has its pros and cons, but economically speaking i think the cons outweigh the advantages.
3. Medicine. I have thought of it alot lately, I want to be a doctor. I dont care how people in my circle try to discourage me, i still want to pursue it. Problem with this is the finances and the time. It definitely cost a lot more than highschool and nursing combined, and its just not that practical. 4 years of nursing plus another 6 years of med school plus another 4 years of residency, how old will i be before i harbor the fruits of my labor.
4. Wait for my tide to come. The only option with no definite means nor end.
I am in a whirlpool of unorganized thoughts right now, but before i lead my self the real insanity, there is only one thing to do.. FOCUS on the present, the future can wait.
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